Destiny

 My True Self

I cannot remember when I started my journey. But the day I realized I should develop a unique value that everyone would love, I began to work hard. I competed with everyone around me, which created many enemies. Thankfully, I also had many supportive friends. I cherish those friends who made me happy and provided so many good memories from my childhood. I am also truly grateful to all the people who tried to make my life a living hell. Thanks to both groups, I have climbed far in my career.

I had a wonderful childhood, a wonderful after-school life, and a wonderful university life. I attended prestigious institutions in Sri Lanka. My father was not wealthy, and my mother was not an educated woman, but they were far beyond all the university-degreed people. They knew how to handle me, how to push me toward success. The sad part was that I didn't realize their true value when it was truly needed. Because of that, I ended up here, trying to share my true story before destiny offers me the death certificate.

Amma, please forgive me. I did not listen to you. I should have listened when you cried and asked me not to marry him. Thaththa, why didn't you check his background before saying yes? You should have asked for evidence of all his lies. I don't know why you so blindly accepted all his cheap talk and allowed me to go with him. If my daughter asked my permission, and I didn't have any knowledge of the man, I would at least ask for his ID. But, Thaththa, I know this is my destiny. There is nothing you or my beloved mother could have done. We all thought, why and for what reason would someone lie about marriage? We were blind about the world. We had our own peaceful world, with only my brother occasionally making a mess, and that was never a huge issue.

Even today, you don't know how your daughter suffers. Even today, I am unable to disclose my true grief. I am really sorry about my life. Sometimes, I feel like a puppet of his family. Yes, that's correct, his own family. The family we created is just a unit controlled by three women. All the important decisions are made by them and their subordinates. Truly, I feel all of them are using me, my body, and my mind to fulfill their needs. This is the same for Dewarsh and Reshwind as well.

I feel so sorry about my decision from the moment of my first visit to his sister's house in Kalmunai. Since Amma made a huge drama after that I could not tell anything to you guys. Still, I am still don't know how you guys will react once you get to know about this. You would not believe the pictures I saw on his old laptop. I had several visits after that, and now the laptop is no longer there. So I am 100% sure the pictures I saw were of his true and first wedding. If you can remember the costume he wore at our registration just after the Kovil function, it was the same costume. Can you remember the sari I wore for the registration? It is the same sari that his first wife wore at her wedding (it appeared to be an event taken at home, so it might have been their homecoming dress).

I can remember, Amma, when you once said that according to my horoscope, I would marry an older man or someone who was already married. You mentioned he might have a good financial condition, but I wouldn’t have a good family life, and I would be sad and helpless all the time. That has all turned out to be true. According to Sri Lankan marriage law, people are only allowed to marry once. If they get divorced or their spouse dies, only then can they have a second marriage. Legally, my marriage would only be valid if he was divorced from his first partner.

To close a divorce case, both parties need to attend court, and it can take years. But when I checked his records, they didn’t display any issues, and even his police report was clear. So I am 100% certain that my marriage is a false thing and that he is using me for some reason. If I had some support or courage to disclose this even to you, it would be a piece of cake. But I am not sure how you would handle this much. So I have kept quiet until today.